Two months and counting in Peru so far,the longest we’ve spent in a country on the trip, and we’re hooked. We’ve spent a lot of time off the bikes hiking to Inca ruins around Cusco, done a stint riding in the sweaty jungle dodging drug traffickers and terrorists, and in the last few weeks masochistically dragged ourselves up and over countless mountain passes as we’ve edged towards the majestic snow capped peaks of the Andes. Our race against the onset of the rainy season has been a closely contested one, but save for a couple of afternoon soakings and a few hours huddled under a tarpaulin at the side of the road being battered by a hailstorm, we’ve made it to Huaraz relatively dry. This city was our next touristy target after Cusco and a big milestone for us ,so we are taking a few days off to indulge in the delights of being able to blend in as just-another-tourist and yes, to consume a lot of cake and beer. Hurrah!
Whilst the Peruvian landscape we’ve seen so far has astonished us with its diversity, and the faces of the people we’ve met have changed as we’ve gone from cosmopolitan city to traditional highland villages to heat-letharged lowlands, we have found one thing that unites all Peruvians across the land. They LOVE noise.
So, before I bore you with lots of scenic photos of dazzling lakes and mountains, and the inevitable stories of us munching our way across the last 100 miles or so, here is the story of our time in Peru so far, explained via our ear drums. It wouldn’t be a real blog without a good old list…..
9. BEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!
Peruvian drivers must wear through their car horns quicker than they do their engine oil. Liberally honked whenever rounding a curve in the road (fyi – there isn’t a single straight road to be found in highland Peru!), passing another vehicle/a pedestrian/a dog/sheep/cow or warning us they are coming by, they wait until they are right next to our ears to give us a bike-wobbling blast. Worst offenders are the collectivos, who in the absence of a good old civilised bus-stop system, will simply drive through a village at at 50mph with one hand firmly on the horn to rouse any potential passengers. Even if it’s 5am.
Jokes.
8. Noughties latino pop stars
Shakira, Enrique Iglesias, and Ricky Martin. Ever wondered what happened to our favourite Latin American popstars? They’ve given up on our little island to make their millions in South America.
7. Las Novelas, pre watershed love, lust and passion
The sound of the Novelas, the South American soap operas, played out from huge TVs in every chicken restaurant or corner shop, often with groups of passers by sneaking a peek at the action. Think of the 90’s classic “El Dorado”, with added dose of drink-in-face throwing, dirty looks, and broom cupboard shenanigans.
5pm is Novela time. Watching the Novela drama unfold in Huancavelica reminds me of the “Free Deidre Barlow” saga of 1998
6. “GRRRRRINNNNNNNGGGGOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
We still haven’t decided whether to be offended or endeared by locals’ desire to shout ever-so-slightly racist names at us when we pass them in the street, but we lean towards the latter and give them a gringo grin and a wave. Especially if its a bunch of cute school kids accosting us outside a market….
I run into the mercado in Lircay to get supplies and come out to find Tom surrounded by the town’s 10 and 11 year olds who are fascinated by our bikes and his (relatively trim!) beard
5. Peruvian pop music
In the absence of a TV, a unique fusion of traditional folkloric and modern pop music that often sounds like a drowning cat found the demo button on an 80s Casio keyboard will be blaring from a sound system. Speaking of the 80s, the other favourite of Peruvian speakers seems to be 80s American Power Pop. I still haven’t gotten to the bottom of why I regularly hear the electronic drum beats of Huey Lewis & The News, Journey, and Genesis blasting from teenage girls’ phone speakers whilst they walk down the street.
Glastonbury it ain’t, but the meat, beer drinking and cat screeching went on til 3am.
4. Questions, questions
Various Spanish version of “Where are you going?” and “Where did you come from?”, warmly hollered at us from the side of the road or whenever we stop. Five months in, we still haven’t worked out a quick response to these and begin our automated Spanglish response:
“Well…we started in Brazil five months ago, but we’re from England. Last night we were in <insert random town/village name> and today we’re going to , but eventually we want to cycle to Colombia/Mexico/USA*” (*depending how much we’re enjoying cycling that day).
If directed at me, the inevitable next questions will be How old are you? Do you have children?” whereupon I wonder at the kind of parent I would be had I left my darling brood at home for half a year, and make gestures towards my pannier bags, suggesting that I do indeed have 2 small children, neatly packed in my Ortliebs.
3. Brass bands
Even outdoing the Bolivians, this country loves a good parade and rolls out the local band for any occasion. Crucially, instruments must be maintained at least half a key out of tune, played by the musically inept (school children and drunks favoured), and rehearsed between 6am and 7am or after 11pm at night. The brass seems to be making up for a surprising absence of pan pipes, which I’d always thought to be the traditional sound of Peru. Presumably this is because all the best Peruvian Pan-pipe bands are now playing in the shopping malls of Warrington, Birmingham and Colorado.
Yet to be spotted in Peru
2. Barking
Incessant, constant, and often accompanied by the pounding of paws on pavement chasing us down the road. Even in the remotest of valleys there will be appear a lone house clinging to the hillside, with its own pack of territorial hounds ready to snap at our tyres, pannier bags and lower limbs.
Dogs – friend of hikers, not friend of cyclist.
1. Silence
Away from the roads and into the hills with nothing for miles around, this is the soundtrack to our days weaving our way across the hills. Bliss.
The only noise is the sound of the crushing gravel and the wind in our ears as we woosh down a 1600m descent.
More to follow on what we’ve actually been up to for the last 6 weeks! But for now I have a pint of IPA waiting to be drunk, and dining options that aren’t limited to fried chicken or instant noodles for the first time in a month. Time to indulge!
Grrrls On Tour 